Not long ago, I asked this question of my Facebook friends, "Wondering...what have you done today to elevate your relationships both at home and work? Did you make a Relationship Bank Deposit today?"
A response I enjoyed was:
"My best reply after countless cups of coffee and the entire day off is...to elevate one's own self-awareness is indeed to make the best deposit possible in another's emotional bank! Self-awareness is highly effective in our attempts to be tolerant and accepting of others, regardless of our own agenda or ability to comply."
Our Wiring
Most would agree that women are hard-wired to nurture. However, few would say the same for men. As such, nurturing for men must be learned. Nurturing was generally not part of a boy's elementary and secondary school education. Add the complications of young woman's expectations of young men, and we have plenty of "defective" guys running around out there.
First, nurturing for men tends not to come naturally and takes quite some time to learn. Women, deal with it.
Second, women are accountable to help men learn to nurture--yep, I said it! Women are accountable. And men are accountable to make an effort to learn.
Third, both men and women must be accountable to themselves to tell their partner of their needs--rather than to keep those needs bottled up inside and "hope" the other will somehow just know what they want. If you are not receiving what you need, you will not particularly “feel” like nurturing your partner.
Fourth, guys have to get their heads out of their rear end's and realize that it is okay to be loving and nurturing and still be masculine.
Fifth, gals…let me say this as plainly as I can. Guys don’t like games. Don’t wonder what he meant, for God’s sake, ask him! Most likely, he meant exactly what he said. Most likely, there was no hidden meaning in, “Honey, I’m exhausted.”
Sixth, enjoy each other; the differences, the similarities, and all that comes with being in a relationship.
Wishing you all the best, Ed Rigsbee
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