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Thursday, March 4, 2010
Plans Change — Stuff Happens — Get Over It
With St. Patrick’s Day peaking around the corner, I thought it prudent to share a story from just a couple years back. My wife, Regina, and I were celebrating St. Patrick’s Day at an Irish friend’s house who actually built an authentic Irish pub in his home. Driving to the party, Regina offered to be the designated driver—allowing me the freedom to really get into the mood.
At the Party
It’s about an hour into the party and I’m sitting at the bar in my friend’s home pub enjoying some of his fine Irish whiskey. Regina strolls over to the bar, quite happy, with newly discovered green jell-o shooters in hand; telling us how much she was enjoying them. At that moment, I realized that our plans had changed. I looked at my buddy, he looked at me, and I stated quietly to him, “I’m done drinking for the evening.”
Wisdom with Age
In earlier times, I most likely would have gotten very angry at Regina for not keeping her word about being the designated driver. Over the years, I’ve learned that stuff happens and to just get over it. What about you? While this is a timely St. Patrick’s Day party example, the bigger issue is learning to accept that things change, especially when you’ve been with someone for a long time.There are much more important issues to discuss, debate, and even argue about than designated driver. Regina was having a wonderful time so why in the world would I want to rob her of the experience?
Things Will Change
The longer you are in a relationship the more you realize that what is dependable is that things are in a constant flux. You can either fight it or go with it. So what if your partner changes his or her mind—like you have never done the same thing? Realize also, that I’m not talking about a passive-aggressive partner that agrees now to avoid conflict and then disagrees later. I’m simply saying that one needs to be flexible enough to absorb situations where your partner, in the moment, honestly changes their mind.
My suggestion is that you keep this idea close to your heart: Plans Change — Stuff Happens — Get Over It.
Ed Rigsbee has been helping corporations to build long-lasting business growth alliances for over two decades. Ed believes that both life and business are about building mutually-beneficial relationships. Married for 35 years, and the author of 3 published books on strategic alliance relationships and over 1,500 published articles, Ed offers a unique window into today's successful business and personal relationships. To access the several "aspects & activities" of Ed, visit www.EdRigsbee.com which is the portal to all his activities.
Excellent point Ed. Thank you very much for sharing this experience. I think we have all had similar experiences.
ReplyDeleteYour line: "Regina was having a wonderful time so why in the world would I want to rob her of the experience?" really hit me.
In a relationship, your goal SHOULD BE the happiness of the other person. If he/she is happy, you should be happy also. It is a great system.
It is the sign of a mature person to be able to put the #1 goal - happiness of partner - above "following the plan."
Gina Carr